We parted ways almost 6 months ago and she again returned to my life saying lets stay as best friends because thats how our story started anyways. But I said no, I cannot stay in this constant loop of attachement and detachement. If you are not putting in efforts for commitement, expect nothing from me. But we used to hang out occasionally because I was close her to parents as well. And they would invite me for dinner, lunch , even just to talk. In this same time frame her mom had a operation as well so she asked me if I could support her out with the hospital chore and family work. I don't know what I was going thorugh I said yes when without thinking a moment. Then again we started hanging out. But after her mom was discharged I maintained distance again. And it has been almost more than one and half months since our proper contact. After that she called me almost 3 times to ask how I was and I would act tough everyone pretending I did not miss her but after we hung up, I sit everytime thinking about her with teary eyes, missing her warm hug and the smell of her hair. She called me recently as well and she said she felt good talking to me and why I did not call her. I just said khai, idk and thats it. I did not reply after that because I had no answer to anything. She has appeared in my dreams so many times recently and today as well she was in my dreams. She hugged me and said, taile malai astina sodheko bhaye ma astina ta sanga farki sakthye. And I woke up in tears. I don't know what to do. Yes I loved her a lot but her actions at that time made me feel disrespected owards my feelings. I don't want a complicated relnship where you are just lying and trying to cover up your mistakes. I just want a normal healthy relnship. I don't know how to get over her thoughts and move on. It was such a long time from friends to lovers I have memories with her in almost evry place I go. I cannot het her out of my mind. I went for a walk today and I remebered yes, I printed her photo in that particular shop and wrote how much I loved her and gifted her that. I went oast a pet shop and remebered we raised a cat together named it Simba, we wnet shopping for simba. We laughed together with simba. We were frustrated when simba shit in her bed. Like she had become so much a part of my life, everything gets me towards her nowadays. That cafe, that grocery shop everything. I don't think I can ever see her the same way I saw her earlier because I realized that fact that she would not even flinge to lie to me. No matter how much she said she respected me, loved me, the disrespect was there and despite me constantly tellung her she repeated the same things again and again and no efforts were made despite she said she would change.